Old folk on spanking patrol target rowdy youth
Brocklehurst Bugle
A group of Brocklehurst residents are rounding up youngsters and publicly spanking them in a new clampdown against ‘rowdy elements’ in the town.
This week they published photographs on social media of three nineteen-year-olds after they had been spanked with wooden paddles on their bare bottoms.
Charles, aged 66, a resident of The Avenue, Brocklehurst told the Bugle. “We have had enough. Everywhere you go there are young people. They hang around bus tops and congregate at the nearby Widdicombe Park. We are good upright, honest citizens and we don’t want them around here.
Charles and a number of senior citizens formed a group that patrols the area in an unmarked van.
“When we see youths that we don’t like the look of we bundle them in the back of the van.”
Charles and his group might be of the older generation but they are more than a match for what they call “the rowdy elements”.
“We have surprise on our side,” Charles said. “They don’t know what hit them,” he laughed. Their captives are driven back to The Avenue to a welcoming party.
“There can be as many as ten of us,” Charles said. “One member of our group carved out paddles in his shed. They look like small cricket bats, with a blade about a foot long and a handle. The Americans used to use something similar in their schools.”
Charles described what happened on Tuesday this week. “We got three of them back and before they knew what was happening, we had them out of the van. Mr Phillips drove his car onto his driveway and five or six others grabbed the louts and quickly had them all face down across the bonnet of the car. Mrs Carruthers and a number of the other ladies made it their business to get the lads’ trousers and pants down. The lads struggled like mad, of course, but eventually the girls’ managed to bare their buttocks.
“Then as others held the louts down the rest of us set to with the paddles. There’s something truly satisfying about the crack the wood makes as it connects with the bottoms of some truly undesirable youth. People might think we’re a bunch of old fogies but we can certainly pack a punch when we’ve got a paddle in our hand.
“You should have heard them howling. It scared the birds off the trees. Like banshees they were.
“I guess we gave them fifty whacks each. After we’d taken our photographs they hobbled down the street still with their trousers and pants at half-mast.”
Charles added: “Let that be a warning to others. We don’t want young people anywhere near The Avenue.”
Picture credit: Isma
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