Getting back on track

So there I was, twenty-two-years old, nearly twenty-three, with my jeans down at my shins and spread-eagled across the table in the front room; my underpants stretched across my firm, meaty buttocks. Nearby, stood Mr Cudlipp swiping a thick, but whippy rattan cane through the air. Mr Cudlipp was my landlord. That is to say … Continue reading Getting back on track

The troublesome lodger

Bill Robinson lay flat on his back in bed, staring at the ceiling. His Morning Glory was straining against the front of his tight yellow briefs. It was a girl he had met last night. He never got anywhere with her, but he could dream. He turned on his side, reached into the bedside cabinet … Continue reading The troublesome lodger

Lockdown defiance

Mr Hawkins tapped cautiously on the bedroom door. “Zach are you awake? You should get up, breakfast is nearly ready.” When he received no reply he knocked a little louder, “Come on Zach, get a move on.” He leaned in closer to the door with his ear almost against the panelling. Nothing. He couldn’t hear … Continue reading Lockdown defiance

Put back in short trousers, aged 18

I have my own key so I can let myself into the house. I am late home from school. I’ve been in detention. I hope granddad doesn’t find out. He said the next time he took me across his knee I’d have my trousers at my ankles. It’s five-thirty and he isn’t due back from … Continue reading Put back in short trousers, aged 18

The pretty policeman

Police Cadet Pettigrew stood head bowed, heart racing. His face was drained of colour. He jerked from one foot to the other. Ashamed. Humiliated. The nineteen-year-old shuddered. Soon tears would flow like a stream going down a hill. Police-sergeant Harris growled. “You damn fool. You bloody idiot.” Pettigrew shook some more. He clasped his hands … Continue reading The pretty policeman

Matty’s achingly beatable bottom

The boy across the street has the most achingly beatable bottom. I wonder if he realises. How would he? He doesn’t get to see it does he? You don’t get a proper view in the mirror do you, not even in a full length one. Maybe you’d know if you saw yourself in a photo, … Continue reading Matty’s achingly beatable bottom

The student’s big fat fail

Stacey clutched the essay in his hand despondently. An “F”. He had an “F”. A big fat fail. He looked forlornly at the professor seated at his desk in front of him. An “F”. Joseph Stacey had nobody to blame but himself. He had written the essay in haste. He hadn’t been near the library, … Continue reading The student’s big fat fail

The milk bottle thief

James Danvers left his home at six-thirty on the dot every morning. His house was unexceptional in every way, just one more suburban box in a street composed of identical suburban boxes. His journey to the newsagent took about five minutes.  He bought a copy of the Daily Express and then he walked home again. … Continue reading The milk bottle thief

An old-fashioned dad

The three lads were seated together at a table in the students’ union bar, each staring at the screen of their phones when Gaz approached beer bottle in hand and breathless. He obviously had important information to impart. “You’ll never guess, you’ll never guess,” he beamed. “I can hardly believe it myself.” None of his … Continue reading An old-fashioned dad

Beach bum

Hank stared forlornly through the great plate window at the valley below. A mist heat was rising. It must be at least one-hundred-and-ten in the shade. The room was freezing; air-con does that. He shivered. Part cold. Part fear. He had been such a damn idiot. He had a great thing going. Now, it was … Continue reading Beach bum