Damien’s mid-term results

Damien sat waiting at the dining room table nursing an empty coffee mug in his hands. Waiting. Waiting for dad. Dad said he wanted “A little word.” He thought he knew what that word was. Damien was off to university for the first time that weekend. He hoped dad didn’t want to tell him about … Continue reading Damien’s mid-term results

The student’s big fat fail

Stacey clutched the essay in his hand despondently. An “F”. He had an “F”. A big fat fail. He looked forlornly at the professor seated at his desk in front of him. An “F”. Joseph Stacey had nobody to blame but himself. He had written the essay in haste. He hadn’t been near the library, … Continue reading The student’s big fat fail

University bully

  Hundreds of academics have been accused of bullying colleagues in the past five years, prompting concerns that a culture of harassment and intimidation is thriving in Britain’s leading universities. – Genuine news story “Bend over.” You stare dumbfounded, “Excuse me?” “I said bend over.” “I don’t understand.” “What part of ‘bend over’ don’t you … Continue reading University bully

Strictly no alcohol

Trent and Alex were in the students’ union bar finishing their second pint of the evening. “I’m going to make this the last one,” Trent said. “Then I have to be off home.” His friend wrinkled his nose, “But it’s early yet, it’s not even nine.” “I know, but I’ve got to go,” he sipped … Continue reading Strictly no alcohol

Unexpected demonstration of affection

Nigel Wallace, a long-since retired professor at Brocklehurst University, was at home doing nothing when the phone rang. He didn’t recognise the voice at the other end and was a little alarmed when the man said he was a lawyer and asked Wallace to confirm his identity. Was he being accused of something? Lawyers always … Continue reading Unexpected demonstration of affection

Economics failure

Come in! Which one are you? Callaghan is it? I have a list. Yes, you’re on it here. You skipped my Economics 101 class and you haven’t handed in your coursework. Yes? Well, you are about to learn a very painful lesson. That’s the trouble with so many of you freshers. You don’t think you’re … Continue reading Economics failure

The boom-box boy

We had a lovely summer’s day last week and you don’t get many of those in Brocklehurst so I decided to make the most of it and lounge out in the garden, fortified by some gin-and-tonic and an ice bucket. Imagine my annoyance when after about five minutes of catching the rays, I was assaulted … Continue reading The boom-box boy

A right caning

I was on the bus the other day and there were two young men sitting behind me and one said a little loudly, “He gave him a right caning!” Naturally, my ears pricked up at this. Intrigued, I very casually turned my head to see who had spoken. They were two students. I could tell … Continue reading A right caning

Father deals with idle student

“I am going to spank you and that is an end to the matter. You can submit yourself and take it with some dignity, or I can call my assistant Rodgers in and he will hold you down. Either way you are getting a spanking.” Simon had expected a call from his father; he knew … Continue reading Father deals with idle student

The Dean’s list

Bruce is standing with his nose centimetres from the wall. The smell of damp plaster is cloying. He thinks he is about to sneeze. The passageway is hot and humid. The mid-afternoon sun blazes but none of the windows are open. They have been stuck closed for years: no budget for maintenance Bruce stares dead … Continue reading The Dean’s list