Thank you, Uncle Walter

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It started more than forty years ago in nineteen-seventy-four. I was nineteen and Uncle Walter was … well I don’t know how old, but old enough to be my uncle. Dad was a milkman and Mum worked part-time in a supermarket so there was never much money at home. I managed to get a couple of indifferent A-levels and a place on a business degree at a polytechnic.

This will astound modern-day students but in those days we were given grants to study and they didn’t have to be paid back. It was like being given money from Heaven. I didn’t do much work and spent my time drinking beer and chasing (and sometimes catching) girls. Of course, I flunked most of my exams; but such were the days, the polytechnic and the local education authority let me go back and start all over again.

So, I didn’t have much incentive to learn. Until Uncle Walter arrived on the scene. Dad was very weak-willed, but Uncle Walter was strong. He had an iron will and strength in his body, as I was to experience again and again over the next years. He lived about thirty miles from the poly. and arrived unannounced one afternoon at the house I shared with three other idle layabouts.

He knew everything. “Laziness,” he called it. “Bone idle.” “Indolent.” He tore me off a strip. I probably gaped open-mouthed as on and on he went, listing my faults. He paused for breath and then he did something that truly astonished me. He pulled a straight-backed dining room chair away from the table, set it down in the middle of the room and sat down. Then, and even as I write this so many years after the event, I can’t really believe this happened. Then he gripped me by the arm and pulled me towards him. I was dumbfounded and astounded. It happened so quickly. One moment I was standing facing him, wondering what in hell he was doing; the next he had gripped my belt and unbuckled it. He popped the stud at the waistband of my jeans and pulled the zipper. The denims fell to my knees.

Still I had not moved. He tugged my underpants down and the next I knew I was face down over his knees and he was hammering the rough palm of his hand into my silky white buttocks. They were neither silky nor white for long.  I didn’t know what a spanking was supposed to feel like but pretty soon he had warmed up my bum. By the time he was done, it could have glowed in the dark.

I wriggled and I squirmed but Uncle Walter held me firmly at my waist. I had to grab hold of uncle’s leg to stop from toppling to the floor. Wham, bam, splat! He spanked on and on. He was a man with a mission.

At last he let me go. I sprang to my feet and pulled my jeans and pants up. My face was as red as my bum. I was mortified, that someone could just throw me across their knee and spank the living daylights out of me. The humiliation was intense. But it wasn’t to end there.

Uncle Walter had come prepared with a plan. Once I had calmed down, he pulled a document from his jacket pocket. A contract, he called it. It was typed. It looked pretty official to me. There were even spaces for his and my signatures.

It went like this. I had to promise to attend classes, work hard, spend a minimum twelve hours a week in the library and stay clear of the student union bar. I had to guarantee never to get less than B+ in an essay or assignment. If I achieved all of these things, Uncle Walter undertook not to spank me again. If I failed in any or all of the endeavours my arse would be on fire.

“You’ll thank me for this one day,” he said as each of us signed our names. Yeah, right.

I think it was less than a month before I got my next close-up view of the carpet while Uncle Walter battered my buttocks with a heavy wooden brush. Now, I knew the true meaning of pain. Not a single square inch of my admittedly small buttocks was left untouched by that horrible brush. I felt like I’d accidentally sat in scalding bath water. You could have fried an egg on my bum by the time he had finished. I wailed the house down. Thank God it was the evening and my housemates were at the bar. I would have died if they ever found out I was being spanked on my bare bottom by my uncle.

“You’ll thank me for this one day,” he said as I stood hands on knees sobbing my guts up.

Uncle Walter made a habit of visiting me once a week to check on things. Sometimes, my bum went unscathed. My grades improved and I began to discover I actually liked studying. But, I also liked the pubs, my mates and the girls. So, occasionally I found myself over the back of the armchair or sprawled across the dining room table while Uncle Walter walloped a belt or – oh my God how much it hurt! –  a whippy school cane into my bared buttocks.

Just last week I took early retirement from the large metropolitan borough council where I was finance director. After I graduated with a first class honours in business, I made a career in local government. It was well paid – well, in management it was, I’m not talking bin collecting here – and I have a house, a flash car and a place in the country. My pension is brilliant and I can look forward to a very wealthy retirement.

None of this would have been possible without my degree. If I had failed the second time I would have left the polytechnic and probably ended up flipping burgers. A life of drudgery and poverty would have followed. Uncle Walter passed on more than fifteen years ago, so I never had the chance to say, “Thank you.” Thank you for caring, thank you for realising that I had the potential for greatness. Thank you for having the courage to do something about it. And, yes, thank you for giving me the spankings I so richly deserved to guide me on my way.

But, I intend to do more than simply say “Thank you” to a man who is now dead. Later this evening I shall be visited by Kenny. Kenny is a student at the local university. His grades are failing and he is a ship tossing on a stormy sea.

Already, I have placed my heavy wooden clothes brush on the dining room table.

 

Other stories you might like

High school reunion

Untidy bathroom

In the farmhouse

 

More stories from Charles Hamilton II are on the MMSA website

 

Charles Hamilton the Second

charleshamiltonthesecond@gmail.com

 

 

One thought on “Thank you, Uncle Walter

  1. That first year away at university was difficult. Often there had been big family sacrifices and expectations were high. And after being a star at the local grammar it was hard to be mixed with students as clever or cleverer and confidence was undermined. The result was probably a lot of sore first year backsides not that anyone would admit to receiving corporal punishmsnt.

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